The need for validation
I feel like a lot of things are coming up for me, past triggers are presenting themselves, and old wounds that I’m constantly working through. Mercury is officially retrograde.This is the time for a lot of reflecting and clearing out which is what i’ve been up to lately.I want this blog to be a safe space. To do that and create some safety I must be vulnerable first. So here it goes… I have a painful need for validation (probably a childhood wound). I feel like most of my life I’ve been surrounded by people who are dedicated to misunderstanding me. And listen I understand it’s no one else’s job to validate the person I am. I take full responsibility for this considering I stayed in certain friendships/relationships out of the need to “prove” I was a good partner or friend when I honestly should’ve ended them. I feel like this is a theme that comes up often for me, almost like I’m constantly experiencing the same kind of people. So that’s what I’m still working through at my big ole age of 27, and what better way to face a problem than to expose it on the internet? 😂 Lately with my whole blog and tarot and just putting myself out there more it's coming up again. I can see people tuning in. I see the page views, however there’s a lack of support except for my family and partner. It also isn’t anyone’s responsibility to support me. That’s just me expecting people to be like me, and I know the ways I’ve supported others. But the truth is, no one is me, and expecting people to show love in the same ways I have leads to disappointment. To say it doesn’t bother me would be a lie, but it comes with putting yourself out there. You can’t do things with an expectation that people will support you and as long as I’m happy with what I’m doing and enjoy it that’s all that matters. Me expecting people to reshare my blog or even reach out to me for tarot readings is just putting power in other people’s hands which isn’t conducive to what I'm trying to do here. I share this because I think most of us don’t pursue the things we truly want out of fear of no support. God knows I took so long to bring this blog to life out of fear no one would even visit or care. Well at least now I know people have been visiting. And don’t get me wrong there are a few people who reached out to support and congratulate me. Can I count them on one hand? Yes. Was the majority my immediate family? Also yes, but we’re breaking cycles here guys.
These things are meant to come up and be cleared, that’s usually what retrograde is about, reflecting and reevaluating. Seeing the things that work and what doesn’t. I’ve had enough synchronicities in life to let me know this is what I’m meant to be doing (something with my Virgo rising). I’ve also learned that showing up as my authentic self encourages others to do the same. So if at least one person is inspired by this blog that’ll be enough for me. I don’t need anyone else’s applause, I’ll continue cheering for myself. Also having a supportive family and partner helps a ton.
Today is the 8/8/8 Lions portal. A perfect opportunity to invite in new things and manifest the life you want for yourself. It’s an opportunity to step into our true potential. So during this powerful time I invite in confidence for myself and my endeavors. I invite in people who lift me up and support me. I will do everything I am meant to do because I trust God and the universe. With this blog, I hope to inspire others on their path and be a guiding light on people journey’s back home to themselves as I do the same. I’ve opened up my comments in case anyone would like to share themselves and I’m hoping some will feel safe enough to do so. If not now then hopefully eventually I can build a community of like-minded people just trying to find their place in the world and maybe we can help each other along the way
What will you be letting go of this mercury retrograde?? What will you be inviting in under this Lion’s gate portal? As always thanks for stopping by
Your Earth Angel,
Amethyst
